The Miracle of Detachment

I was traveling on business last week to Jersey City, NJ for a full day meeting that started at 8am; then into New York City for a function that evening, back to Jersey City to sleep and back to Ohio by 8:30 the next morning.

Traveling in and out of anywhere in 24 hours is always a little rough, but when it comes to New York City, I typically jump at the opportunity. What made it a little more palatable is knowing that my cousin (also from Ohio) was also in town. We never made solid plans, but knew we would both be in the city that evening.

The time came to leave Jersey City and head into the city with my coworkers via subway; my first time taking multiple lines between states. After spending a few hours at the company function, our group decided to visit the Christmas Tree in Rockefeller Center. I’ve seen the tree in years before, but it had been quite some time; it was as beautiful as ever.

We spent about 5 minutes there and I hadn’t yet connected with my cousin, so I called to let him know I was leaving the city. He said he was several blocks away and he would hurry as fast as he could; but as my group left Rockefeller Center, I resolved we wouldn’t connect.

No big deal, I thought. I knew I would likely see him over the holidays. So, I texted him “We are leaving; so sorry we didn’t connect. I love you!”

There is something so magical about New York City, especially during the holidays. I was so caught up in the ambiance, I really wasn’t paying attention which way the group was going; I was merely following everyone else while in a trance. After a few minutes into our walk to the subway, a familiar face appeared. I recognized this tall young man and as he approached, I ran to meet him and embraced him with a bear hug.

In a city of over one million people, I literally ran right into my cousin. For whatever reason, I connected with my cousin from Ohio on the same street at the same moment in time on the same night…in the middle of New York City. The reunion was brief, less than 2 minutes; long enough to hug a few times, get a few pictures and realize that we would see on another over the holidays. My coworkers marveled at this strange coincidence, as did I initially. Several individuals commented that “this means something”.

For me, strange coincidences are real life, unexpected miracles and occur when we allow intuition and openness to intertwine in the most intricate of ways. These moments in time are meant to guide us and remind us that we are on life’s right pathway. Martha Beck says that “the miracle is always a coincidence in which God chooses to remain anonymous,” and suggests that we all live in a three dimensional miracle.

So yes, this chance meeting was meant to be. It was a miracle given the circumstances and I acknowledge that, but I have since been mindful of the deeper teaching:

When we are in an unfamiliar place in our lives (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually) and the outcome is uncertain, allow it to be, just as it is.

Detachment from an outcome is the key to personal freedom. Granted, the possible outcomes in my situation were not earth shattering. I either 1) see my cousin or 2) I don’t see my cousin. However, consider the same teaching applied to any other scenario. What outcome are you clinging to?

  • Commitment from romantic love interest that won’t commit?
  • Hearing the words from your parent or loved one, “You are good enough just the way you are.”
  • The hope that eventually, you will be loved.

It is very normal and acceptable to want certain outcomes in life. Who wouldn’t want a commitment, acceptance or to be loved?

The complication with these outcomes is that they may become of such intense focus that we lose sight of the bigger picture. The idea of being loved, being good enough or gaining commitment becomes the object of our desire and we lose ourselves in the neediness; then suddenly, we are in the wilderness and so uncomfortable with the unknown that we try to control circumstances to achieve our desired outcome.

Forcing commitment, justifying we are good enough or trying to be “lovable” are not healthy behaviors to engage in; and the end result will always be attachment to an outcome that may or may not be your destiny. Perhaps we should stop to consider that the object of our desire is actually toxic, but because the pain of the unknown is greater than the pain of what we know, we continue to cling to what we know.

I have spent countless days trying to influence my destiny (and admittedly, the destiny of others). While hard work and dedication is essential to success, I have learned that when I allow the tide of life to ebb and flow, I allow God’s plan to unfold right before my eyes, in His perfect time. This is when the unexpected, real life miracles occur; whether it be in the middle of New York City or in the space of my heart.

Unexpected miracles occur in everyday life and very much like my teacher Martha Beck, I also believe we live in a three dimensional miracle. Today, I invite you to let go of the outcome you cling to; for you could miss the miracles occurring right in front of you if you’re too attached to the thing you’re supposed to let go of.

Julie Cline is a Life Coach, Reiki Practitioner, and Speaker, whose goal is to encourage, guide, support, and help heal individuals who want to move forward but have difficulty taking the necessary steps. If you need help to find clarity, confidence and space to reclaim your life, contact Julie today for a complimentary Heart to Heart strategy session by clicking here.

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